Megami Buchigire - Chapter 58

Chapter 58: Back in My Childhood When I Believed That Rabbits Can Fly by Flapping Their Ears

Vegetarian cuisine.

This is something that was developed due to Buddhism’s ban on eating meat, and is a cuisine that requires a surprisingly large amount of preparation. It is said that this is the reason behind why some monks said “this is too annoying, let’s just get rid of the ban on meat!”, but the truth of that fact cannot be determined.

For some reason, birds were an exception to the ban on meat. So one theory of why the counter word for rabbits is the same as for birds is because somebody went all Ikkyuu-san¹ and insisted that “this is not a beast, it is an animal!” and it stuck.

The ban on meat has been lifted for the longest time already, so how about let’s just stop confusing elementary school children all over the country.

“Fumu. This…fried bean burd?…is truly delicious. It makes me feel like I’m partaking of nature’s blessing.”

The person who is currently smacking her lips on such vegetarian cuisine is the high-strung elf Inelteia-san whose loyalty is exploding through the roof today too from delicious food.

After a bite into a piece that had soaked up plenty of juices, her usually gallant face melts with enjoyment as she continues chewing.

“When it comes to soy beans, I personally prefer tofu and its refreshingness. Cold tofu with toppings is just the best. It is simple, but it’s the simplicity that allows the taste of the tofu to come out.”

In contrast, the person who is pushing for tofu is the main culprit who had dragged Inelteia-san down the path of gourmand, the dark elf Linbel-san.

She is currently utilizing the chopstick skills that she has totally mastered to skillfully cut out a mouth-sized piece of tofu and bring it to her mouth.

“I see. It is true that soy beans have been called the ‘meat of the field.’ For the two of you who cannot eat meat, it must surely be as much of a feast as meat is for us.”

Then the one who is nodding at something before the two gluttony banzai elves is the ‘freedom’ priest Natan-san who places his faith in Amaterasu-sama.

He is in the middle of increasing his repertoire after his recent appointment as one of the people sharing cooking duty at the Adachi residence. In order to ensure that he has new dishes that are satisfactory to the household’s vegetarian members, he is currently requesting their help with taste-testing.

Due to this, Inelteia-san’s impression of Natan-san is ‘a wonderful person willing to work hard for someone else’s sake’ and his stock is rapidly rising.

But on the other hand, Linbel’s impression is ‘I would be able to respect him normally if only he doesn’t say retarded things like a spasm’ and thus unchanged from the status quo.

Despite his serious appearance, he is actually a mischievous priest who purposely steps on landmines that he sees so there’s no helping it.

“But still, you sure seem to be quite deft at this. Cooking itself I can do, but it took me quite a bit of effort to get used to the cooking tools of this side.”

“It is indeed true that it takes a while to become familiar with them, but when you do, you will discover their convenience. This rice cooker is an exemplary example. It not only cooks rice, but—would you believe it—it can make bread and cake too!”

“Is that true?! Just one of these can cover main dish all the way to dessert?!”

Natan-san’s presentation that seems to emulate a shopping channel causes Inelteia-san’s eyes to sparkle.

Where has the original cool beauty Inelteia-san gone to.

“And so, I have attempted to make a cheesecake that uses tofu instead of cheese.”

“That’s no longer a cheesecake then.”

“We can’t eat cheese anyways, so it’s not like we’ll be able to tell the difference.”

There is Natan-san who has started a soy bean festival with his usual ‘freedom,’ then there are the two elves who seem to be walking mysteries of how so much food can go into such slender bodies.

Today, too, Japan is at peace.

・

・

・

“Apparently rice harvesting has begun in the village of Fit in the Republic of Keros.”

“Gonna be right back.”

“Stop right there.”

At that time, in Galdeia Kingdom.

Ouhi-sama stands up upon hearing a certain report from a civil official, but immediately her shoulder is clasped by Ou-sama.

With a goal in sight, she becomes a rampaging train on a direct line. Today’s Ouhi-sama is in top form as always.

“You intend to, what, help harvest? A queen consort intends to help with HARVESTING?!”

“All Japanese feel a powerful urge to try rice harvesting every once in a while!”

“What kind of people ARE you guys?!”

An agricultural people who turned into battle people when pressed against the wall that eventually evolved into a hentai people, yep that’s us.

“Rice harvesting is fine, isn’t it? At least it’s a much more peaceful hobby than game hunting.”

“What would you think if the ruler of your homeplace went to harvest rice?”

“…… Damn, I would give him mad props for that.”

“Wh-, WHY?!”

Ouhi-sama and Ou-sama can’t been to see eye to eye due to a difference in values.

At this rate, the danger of divorce may…… not happen. Of course not.

“Alright. I might not agree with it, but I understand it. But over here, the way of being that is expected of those of us who stand at the top is different from what is expected of those below us. Being taken lightly for mixing among commoners is something that we wish to avoid.”

“Even I understand that. That’s why I’ll be going incogn—”

“You. Should. Understand. That. Your. Appearance. Is. CONSPICUOUS!”

“OWOWOWOWOWOW! Not umeboshi!” ²

(…… Umeboshi?)

Ouhi-sama’s shout when Ou-sama rubs his knuckles into her head causes the civil official to tilt his head in puzzlement.

Isn’t it great that they’re getting along so well?

“…… Alright, alright. I’ll give up on the harvesting. I’ll obediently return to my duties.”

“Don’t think that I haven’t noticed your feet turning towards the door even while saying that.”

Ouhi-sama was plotting to pretend to be obedient and then dash off at the first opportunity, but there’s no way that Ou-sama, who’s received extensive training in the martial arts, would miss her body’s telltale movements.

Ouhi-sama is captured even before she can take the first step. When she’s not mad, her physical abilities are only that of a normal woman, so there’s nothing that she can do.

“…… Seems I need to resort to some Absolute Kingship.”

“Please take care.”

“AGAIN?! At least carry me under your arm! Not over your shoulder like a sack of rice!”

In order to stop Ouhi-sama’s rampage, Absolute Kingship needs to be activated again, despite the sun still being high in the sky.

Today, too, this otherworld is at peace.

¹ Ikkyuu-san is an anime about a Buddhist monk who overcomes various problems with his intelligence and wit. (Wikipedia)

² Yes, umeboshi means pickled dried plum normally. But the word also refers to noogies (y’know, that thing you do where you rub your knuckles hard and fast against someone else’s head). One theory is that the face you make when eating sour umeboshi is the same face when you receive a noogie, thus the name. It apparently is featured and called as such often on the anime Crayon Shin-chan. (Japanese source)